Growing pains...

This week has been...well crazy.So full of so much stuff it feels like a month has passed by. We had two speakers, a husband and wife speaking, Faith and Andrew Dutton. Amazing speakers, really in tune with God and listening to his voice.  Faith was born in NZ and she definatly has that bluntness that us NZers tend to carry, but it was still in love. It was so good to hear their message but really confronting. The topic was Freedom in Christ, so we really had to take a good hard look at our lives and sin and the junk but also the love of God and his grace, that he wants to set us free.

Its different to a lot of messages I have heard about repentance because it wasnt all caught up in feeling sorry for myself. It was more like, be an adult, make adult decisions about the crap in your life. God wants us to 'grow up'. I realised I cant keep making excuses or shift blame for things I have done. I need to take responsibilty for what I have done and what I will do. Also the fact its not about us. This whole relationship with God isnt all about US doing anything, its about God using us to do the work. I really had to look at the reasons behind why I want to love and serve God, was it so that I felt all warm and happy inside? Or was it because I want to serve God and show people his love.

Growing hurts, Im realising this quickly. It doesnt feel good, but I have to grow because I cannot stand just staying in one place. What a waste of a life God breathed, I have to be faithful with each day, or why would he want to give me any more?

I need to 'shutup and die' (to self)

Learning to not be led by emotions but by my will, is a whole other thing. Something Im growing in and that I have to choose to do each day.

I have had two words of knowledge spoken over me this week (flipin crazy week) one was Isaiah 61:1-3...over the call in my life, I am giving this up to God and asking Him to reveal what this looks like in my life. Also... I was in the prayer room, completly exhausted and just crying out to God, a guy came over and asked if he could pray for me so he did, and totally spoke into issues that I was facing at that moment, it was awesome.

So Ill stop my rambling but as you can see... a lot of stuff has been happening. I am learning a lot but I am still LEARNING, I have none of this down to a fine art so am continually asking for Gods grace. Thank you all for your prayer and please keep it coming. I also keep you all in my prayer and miss you all. I really really love you all. SO MUCH. you have no idea. You are my family.

MUM AND DAD, just thought I would let you know that I love you and am so apreciative of what you have done in my life, I'm so blessed.

So that was kinda like a dairy entry but. well this is me now

Love you all.