rise up

Its mid day and me my leader Anne and one of the other girls on my team are doing a trash clean up down our street, when all of a sudden 6 heavily uniformed men climb out of a truck. They all look like SWAT team of some sort. Then they start walking towards us. All of a sudden they pull out a point and shoot camera "photo?"

It was a very funny moment looking at these tough uniformed men wanting a picture with us. We ended up talking with them for quite a while and invited them to church which was cool. though they did tell us some sobering news about the area we wanted to reach the prostitutes in. "they will kill you for 25cent" they said. I know the devil doesnt want this to happen. At the moment I think he is trying to use fear..so its going to be very interesting.

listing of suprises in Panama:

bats

scorpians

larger than life cockroach

larger than face hairy gross spider

killer bee's

eartquake

storms

..."Jesus never talked to a prostitute because he didnt see a prostitute. He just saw a child of God he was madly in love with"

When I read this it hit me straight in the heart. Revelation. THIS is how God looks at his sons and daughters, this is how I need to...how WE NEED to see our brothers and sisters and to love them.

Over the past two weeks I have been trying to figure out how we are going to reach these woman, how we are going to uncover the issue of human trafficking. how are we going to bring change? Then God spoke directly to me. This is how I love my children, now go do the same. I know this has been true from the start. Us wanting to love these people. to show Gods love but i guess amongst us trying to find the stats and figure out action plans, the simplicity gets lost.

In our small group of 12hearts we decided to stay a couple of nights in the inner city. So after a adventerous bus ride...in which the bus got pulled over by the police, who then made us all get off the bus and we had to get on another one...we then walked what was supposed to be a 10min walk and 25mins later we arrived at our hostel. The next day we split into groups and went to different parts of the city that we felt led to. My group caught an amazing taxi(who played Michael Jackson) to a part of town we had been in the other day. We walked the streets, met people talking in our broken spanish, took photos. We got to pray for one man who had been living in the centre of the square for 3months in protest to the distruction of the land where his tribe lived. I have no idea if he understood our prayer but I know God used it to impact his life. and that is enough.

We then got to visit a lady we met the last time we were in the city and had prayed for before. This time we sat down and listened to her story. It was amazing, tragic, broken....but beautiful. She is a strong woman who has lived and life with many hurts. But I can see Gods redeming hand in this and I cant wait to see what God wants to do in her life. Whether it involves us or something crazy wonderful.

The last night my friend and I stayed up and talked with a bunch of people in the hostel. One guy was really interested to hear about what we were doing and we got to share our testimony and to just speak truth into his life. It was mean as. I left him my irresistible revolution...and Im praying for him.

So anyhow we are back in the church once again and tomorow we are leaving early in the morena to go to the tribe. These people are malnourished, they are pushed to the fringes of society and they are desperate. So this could be an intense week. to show love.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

storms, spiders, jungle, Jesus.

A couple days into our arival in Panama, a storm hits. The biggest storm that they have had in almost 5 years. After church on sunday we found out that some of the congrgations houses had been destroyed in the storm. These people were the indeginous people of Panama, so their houses were hutts, and their huts were only located by a short hike through the jungle and a "boat" ride through seaweed and crocodile infested waters.

So we decided to go. We left before noon and walked towards the jungle. The boat ride was...pretty much like you see on those adventure programes...this is my life!... We slowly sliced our way throught the seaweed or whatever it was, as the birds walked ontop of the lillie pads next to us. We had to balance carefully so we didnt fall in. I was sitting there...and I realised... Im in Panama...what the! So our idea was to go and help out in whatever way we could, we ended up removing the debris from the hutts down the hill a bit further...it was hot, I was pretty much swimming in my own sweat. This was ok. This I could handle. No, the hard part came half way through this process, when we experienced our first scorpian, that was scary, then I had a few huge cockroach running up my legs on my hands. Once cockroach, which fortunatly wasnt on me, was as big as my hand..if not bigger. CRAZY. However. All these pale in comparision with the HUGE...HAIRY...STRANGLEY CAPTIVATING YET CHILLING....SPIDER...to get a picture in your mind think of a tranatula...only 3x bigger and darker and ugly. Well I almost stepped upon it as I was clearing some branches away, instead I jumped away from it. arghlarighuuuryuck was my feeling and probably sound.

Aside from all of this though the indeginous people were so greatful and so sweet...their water supply has been blocked off but even so they insisted on letting us drink the water we had brought for them. They were a blessing. It was awesome doing this so cool. Hopfully we will see more of them.

When we got home we had the best shower ever, yes I mean we as our showers consist of four shower heads conected to a water pipe outside the church. So we just have to shower in our clothes outside. together. its interesting haha. So now Im super tired.

Oh and we have so far had two bats in our room. Both made the fatal accident of flying directly into the fans..there fore plummeting to there sad sad deaths...

We sleep on the floor in a preschool..its hard...but still...at least we have walls to keep out some of the bugs? Haha.

So anyway its full on but really awesome. Tomorrow we are meeting with a guy thats working with the sex trafficking issue's and prostitution in the city. So its going to be really interesting to see how we can get involved. Also a couple, Matt and Misty talked to us about issues with orphanes..which is huge. Orphanes are mistreated so badly in Panama its horrifying to hear some things that happen to them. So we are going to try help them too.

This place has so much beauty. But under the surface its also so broken. This is all real stuff. So much more real now that Im in it. I pray that you can get a sense of what is going on here. But I will write more as soon as I can.

Its only the fourth day here and so much has happened. But anyway, more for another day huh!

Adios!

so im leaving....on a jet plane?

Today at 5.45pm i leave to Panama city.

When they said this lecture faze would go quick I never thought it would feel like a week has gone by!

Its INSANE! but really exciting. I really feel a lot more peacful about going... for the past week I've been bateling with my flesh A LOT. Its been screaming louder then I thought I could handle. Ive been going through the motions of just wanting to come home, be with my family and friends, sit down in a comfy chair and eat some of mum's amazing cooking. Pretty much to sink back into my comfort zone. I know I freaked out a little because now I'm looking at the next 2 years of my life streached out in front of me... and well its scary. I'm not going to have those comforts for a while. HOWEVER I am so excited where God is going to lead me, strech me, mould me, and totally use me. Its exciting to think that I can serve Him in such an active way.

Our accomadation has been changed, we were supposed to stay at a YWAM base in Panama City, but somthing didnt work out, so we have been shifted to a wee church. Internet may not be that easily accesed but hopfully I'll be able to go to internet cafes. Just means I wont be in contact as much.

We will be staying with a indeginous tribe...I may have said earlier...but its gonna be crazy! Hiking into the jungle, maybe going down a river etc to get to them...and then well living like them I guess. Which will be VERY interesting. Then we are doing some work in the city, looking into the main issues there and helping out. We then do an outreach for 3 weeks. Our team at the moment doesnt know where we are going to go....Maybe Jamaica but we still dont know where God wants us to be. So a prayer request would be about where we should go!

Please.... Do keep in contact, and keep checking on this blog. Thank you all so much for your support in prayer and in financial help.

I do need long term supporters coming up to the Track... so if any of you do beleive in what Im doing and want to support me....PLEASE DO haha. Also there is a book called Sex and Money which Sarah Vaughan or my parents should have. Its the book that the last track ended up putting together. If you wanna check it out contact them.

SO...because I may not be in much contact with everyone I just want to let you know that I LOVE YOU and MISS you all so much! Seriously Im so blessed to have such an awesome supportive family, friends and church...and everyone from TNC I miss you guys a lot! Thanks for all the prayer. please continue to as i go on outreach. and know I pray for you guys all.

LOVE YA'LL SO MUCH :) :)

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smile like u mean it

my money has all been paid

i dont know who did it but someone did.

and thats awesome....and crazy...and .....well....God can provide.

so im leaving this thurs i dont know what to expect. i will be going to panama city and i think we are going to be helping out in places there for a bit but then we go to stay with a tribe...which will be slightly crazy. an adventure to say the leaset. we have had our last speaker who was from Germany, he definatly got me excited about using photography in all of this. it made me want to go and practise all day. i want God to be the guide fully. i want to capture what he wants me to capture.

im sorry for the lack of grammer. i am really tired. and not all that bothered.

but as long as u get the main idea that i want/ need to get across.

i am packing everything up, putting some stuff in storage and sorting out what i want to bring with me. i almost want to give everything away and to just take one pair of clothing. but i know that would be a regret sooner or later haha.

bon iver has been my music as of late.

and jesus.

well im gonna go before i confuse everyone!

haha much love

i mean...Gods pretty much the best

Ok so its going to be short and sweet. I realise this is a bit overdue.

PRAISE THE LORD! and THANK YOU to all the amazing people that gave me money. I am so blessed to have such support!

In a matter of 2 weeks? My blance oweing has gone from $4000 to $1300...Im amazed. Half of this money has come in through unknown means. Its crazy. It has been a rollercoaster of faith through this. At points I had to keep reminding myself of who I served and that my God has an abundance of wealth. ..

But again thankyou so much to all who helped me and who beleive in what I am doing. I so long for more and more people to have a passion for this cause and to see that this is more that just a school for "Naomi find her path" but that this is God wanting to work through through me, through you... through anyone and everyone, and that we can all bring change.

To be honest I have had some pretty big questions arising in my head, and am feeling weary even as I write this. I have had some good chats with people around me and my leader, and even though I have these questions I always come back to the fact that God is God, and no matter how long it takes me to answer these questions or even if i never do, I will still serve him. And thats that. Because even though there are questions, there is still all this knowledge I do have in Him. Even down to every breath I take.

So yes..this isnt that long but I just wanted to update you all on Gods goodness. I will write further asap.

Love you all, and please email me your address. my email is gold_fish_5@hotmail.com

Blessings and love

xxoo

everything must change

Brokenness is not the point. Pain is not the point. Sin is not the point. Hatred is not the point. Hurt is not the point.  This life is not the point. You and I are not the point. LOVE is the point.

God is Love.

God IS.

“But you will receive power  when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witness in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8

Its 3 weeks until my great departure for outreach in Panama and…well where ever the Lord takes us. Man it feels like I have been fast forwarding through life and I’m going to stop and look back and not recognize myself! (well lets hope not huh) the more and more I think about what’s lying ahead of me, the more excited I get. I don’t have all the money for outreach, it’s due this Friday. But I fully have trust in God that His will will be done, in my life, on this earth, as it is in heaven.

A sure fired passion is rising up in me, just yesterday Laura Fisher spoke to us, she reminded us of Gods amazing BEAUTIFUL pursuit for our lives. Its freakin amazing! OUR GOD IS AMAZING.  Its crazy, it makes my heart beat that little bit faster. When God created us he wanted us to share with Him beauty, He wanted us as friends, relationship, He wanted an earth full of captivated worshippers. To love and be loved. But he couldn’t force us so he didn’t. He hoped and hoped we would choose him. But we didn’t. Now ever since the fall he has been on this “extravagant redemptive adventure” He wants us back! He doesn’t just sit back and watch us walk away He pursues all of us!

What makes this even more amazing? He is asking us to be part of this adventure, to magnify Jesus to others. All we have to do is to know His love, I mean if we know His love it will be too much to just contain. It will over flow. We don’t have to argue to push or pull people. It should simply be in our being.

I know we have all probably been taught this in one way or another, but I guess for me at least it was just a revelation, it sunk deeper this time. I feel God going so deep its uncontainable! When I first got here I was questioning what Gods love was like, what it would take to have a revelation of His love, it was like I was striving to understand this. And then one day, as I was praying, pleading God to reveal how much He loved me. He spoke.

Wasn’t my Sons death enough?

Wow

Talk about straight up.

How blind was I? I mean… this is the death of Christ. This was Gods heart for us exemplified so loudly its crazy, yet here I am, dwelling in selfishness and self pity. What the heck?  REVELATION

So, it’s all going deeper. I was going through a time of home sickness, thinking about two years away from home kinda freaked me out. BUT when I look at my life time, its not that long at all, and what better timing. I am excited. Because I want change, I want hope, I have hope, I have truth, and I can be part of Gods amazing plan to bring this, to all people.

I have also been learning more and more about the Holy Spirit, and the characteristics of the Holy spirit, how its so much more than just receiving things like gifts from the Holy Spirit, but it’s a relationship. God works through us with the Holy Spirit! We can be so intimately connected that Christ’s power is IN us… we are his hands and feet.

And this may horrify some, others may find this awesome, and others may be like, what the heck is she on. I spoke in tongues/ sang in tongues. I have always been so skeptical of this and never really let it be part of my life. However during Holy Spirit week I felt God moving in me, so I said, “God whatever you want to activate/ do in me I give up any pre conception of what I think is right or wrong and Ill let you have me in full". So he did. This is a personal thing for me however, its just a nice wee add on that God was like, here you go have this and enjoy.

Thanks God

Any way I have rambled on a lot! Alls to say is, Im still being stretched. It is good.

I will update this to tell everyone of any amazing God gifts of money after Friday.

I love everyone, miss everyone, hope that Gods moving you all.

xxxxxxoooooooooooo

 

this is here this is now

THE UPDATE

It is now my one month anniversary of being in the beautiful Big Island of Hawaii. This month has been an extravaganza of spiritual surgery.   God has broken me in so many ways but I know its just the start. In a way that’s scary but at the same time it’s exhilarating.  God has been revealing to me what it means to totally lay down everything at his feet. To offer back to him what he has originally gave to me in the first place. This means what I think my ‘rights’ are, are no longer my rights. He has been teaching me so much through all the different speakers. Before I came here, as many of you know from my first letter, I have been exploring what Romans 12 looks like in my life. Now God is refining that, He is gently asking permission to enter into parts of my life. For example my relationships, my home, my family, all these things a need to lay at the cross and abandon my right to them. This is scary. At the start of the month I got so scared and the devil used all these revelations to totally warp my view on my God that I serve. My  picture of him was of a God who wanted to take everything till I hurt. Till I suffered. Until I was left with nothing.

I struggled with this for a few weeks, it became such a burden, such a worry that I ended up breaking down into a fit of tears. I didn’t understand this God I served and I didn’t want to give him everything because if he wanted me to suffer then surely he wouldn’t give anything good back to me. Ultimately I was being selfish. I was wanting to have control, I was wanting to insure my comfortable life. I wanted to decide how much I suffered. And my view on my Father was totally warped. I was letting satan lie to me.

Luckily God cared enough to speak through other people, with words of knowledge, of affirmation, and of his love for ME. I realized that God wants to give me my hearts desires. He knows what’s best for me more than anyone else. I can trust him. I’m excited to let him have it all, because I know He will give me far better things then I could ever desire.

BURDENS OF MY HEART

My heart is broken. I plead with you to open your hearts, to open your eyes, to see this truth for what it is even if it’s ugly and uncomfortable. God has revealed something in my heart, something new has been born. An anger, a rage, a sadness…something overwhelming. Facts have been thrown at me about different injustices, since I came here. However this morning it went straight to my heart.

Child pornography, human trafficking, slavery, abuse… this is our world. How can we possibly live each day knowing this is happening to people so helpless? These questions hit back and forth in my mind. I have always looked at people who devote their lives to looking after the poor, to looking after the needy, to looking after the broken, as amazing people.  They were the exception. But God has been speaking to me. Speaking to many. Saying this isn’t the exception , this is the rule. This is what God’s called us to do. What will separate us from the goats?

So with all these questions, with this knowledge, with this truth, I feel I must…I know I must go and do something about it. What that looks like I’m not sure. One way I’m thinking about doing this is staying with my school that I’m in now, but for two years travel to broken parts of countries and reaching the people there. In a deeper way be a ‘voice for the voiceless’. The aim is not just be a spectator and document issue’s in different countries, but to know the people. To listen to their cries. To help. With our camera’s as our weapon’s we aim to fight for these people, to reveal these issue’s to governments, to the rich, to the church, to the world. To find ways we can conquer these issues, to show that God loves these people just as much as he loves you and I. After two years of doing this we will come back to the University of Nations and compile all our information/photographs/film and make a book or dvd or both to get these people’s stories out. This is also a photography class, so along the way we will be harnessing our skills as photography and hopefully ending up with a degree from the U of N. We will study photography and design, biblical studies, worldview and related issues. It will be crazy, fun, heartbreaking, exhilarating, probably every kind of emotion.

Two other significant things that have happened are two specific words that people felt to give me, which I have given to God to bring to reality. One was the verse Isaiah 61:1-3, then the other was a word that Jay Lukas(a speaker) felt to give me, that God was changing the orientation of where home is to me. That home is not going to just be in NZ but around the world and wherever he chooses to lead me.  Both of these people don’t know me from a bar of soap but it was awesome to have God use them to speak to me.

 HELP!

It’s a hard thing to ask in this economic situation. But I do believe my God is bigger than money and I know he will help me and provide for me. So please pray, I need all the prayer I can get. Also if anyone would want to be my long term supporter…well I NEED YOU haha, it will end up costing me $3000 a month to do this thing. So I need a lot of supporters! These costs cover travel,  food, a roof over my head etc.

So I’m asking you, if you can, if you feel like Gods is asking you to then I would so so so appreciate your help. But only if that’s what you feel God is saying, otherwise/ or /and your prayers are so important to me. Thank you so much for already supporting me thus far, and if that’s all you can do I want you to know that I appreciate it so much. All of this is up to God though, if the doors close on this I know he will still lead me into something awesome no matter where I am, I’m simply taking a stab in the dark and hoping he will light up my path.