a brand new world

So here I am standing in Africa. Breathing in its air. Letting the cold sink into my bones..

Starting a new section of my life.

Gone is the oppressive humidity of Panama

The jungle in my backyard, overflowing in every area of the city

New beginnings

New endings

New ideas

New loves

New difficulties

Here I go. I find it so hard to really write down what living this has been like. And what going into this next season is framed by..what is. Partly because im still asking God that myself.

You find out so much truth about yourself when you step into each new country, with each new truth of mans/womans frail existence glaring you in the face. Then you find out that all these issues that you are fighting against, are issues that lay within yourself. When you feel fear creep under your skin because of your own weakness. Your own judgments. These ugly truths within yourself.

These are things that I've had to grapple with…that I still am turning over and figuring out. I have to deal with these things within myself.

But one of my friends from my team shared this morning about what God has been doing within her, what revelation he has been bringing to her. And it struck me that these were the things that I have been tossing over myself. Wondering how I am going to use this photography for Gods kingdom. Knowing that there must be more then what I see just now.

I don’t want to be just another photographer that shows images of poor and broken people with no hope what so ever. Because the truth is, the thing that doesn’t make sense to the rich society, is these people already have hope…the have joy, they know how to laugh and love and share. I know we have all heard it before, from others who have seen this joy in some of the most harsh circumstance, through people who have next to nothing.

What I have come to realize is that these people don’t need our 'service' us helping them, they need us to serve them. To be there servants. Not to come as the rich to the poor, or to cure them of all there diseases, they need us to come on the level of humanity, a common ground.

As my friend was sharing this morning, I want my pictures to not make people look at a picture and take pity on these people, no, much more than that I want people to look at a picture and see two kingdoms colliding, and I want them to make a choice. Because you have to, you choose one or the other, people do it everyday. These people don’t need pity. We need to recognize, really, who is the rich, who is the poor.

I've stumbled along into a few different opportunities. Every Monday night we go to the nearby township(Capricorn) of 20,000 to 25,000 people, victims of the segregation 15years ago, we pray and worship there, kids join us, people wandering by stop to either join in or simply watch. Now on Tuesday's and Thursday's I go to a school just down the road from our house and I will be helping out with a film school with two other girls in my group. I'm not to sure what exactly they want us to do (im not exactly an expert on films) but I think they mainly want us to just help motivate the teenagers into what they are doing. Through this we also got an opportunity to possibly help out in a camp for the school- a lady there who leads a Christian group is eager to get some young faces in to show that Christianity can be "cool" as a teenager- haha- I don’t exactly think ill be the best face to represent that, but it will be an amazing opportunity to really challenge these girls and guys.

Also- time permitting I may be starting up a bible study with my friend Kristin within Capricorn- which would be awesome.
Amongst this I also have day to day school from 8-1 and then assignments every afternoon- so life is busy-but good.

Its weird. All these opportunities are great, but its crazy how apathy and fear creeps in. its been something I struggle with daily. One day im ready to change the world. The next its an effort to walk out the front door. I really want to know Gods heart for these people. I really want to know my heart -haha- that’s part of the journey.

SO .. Things I really could use prayer for
-MY prayer life
-money…im at $1000 I need $3400 USD more by the end of this month.
-That I keep pressing into God-I want my whole heart to be his.
-health-just in general but also for my arthritis that it doesn’t become an obstacle
-my relationship with everyone in the house.
-that I let this be a God thing and not a Naomi thing.

That’s it! So if you have got through this marathon update then CONGRADULATIONS

If you skipped to the end then…well fair enough haha

But love you all sorry this has taken its sweet time. And I appreciate all your prayer

Kisses and hugs